Joshua is an 19 month old toddler.Lately he has started saying “No” for everything thing his mother or father would tell him to do.When his mother tells him to pick up his toys which are scattered all over the floor ,he will say “NO”.When his mother tells him to get ready for a bath and come to the bathroom,he says “NO”.
Have you ever wondered why your 18 month toddler just starts saying a big "NO" to everything.If you ask them to do things or listen to your instructions you will start hearing a “NO” every time. Physically they are always running away from mother .They tend to say NO for everything.They don't even like to share their toys or books.
Well it is just a period of SELF AFFIRMATION. It starts with a period of saying NO to everything at 18 months and it ends at around 3 years when the child says "I".
At the age of 18 months they start affirming their own individual self. They start realizing their individuality,so they no more want to listen to instructions of the parents.Once they are 18 months old , they start realizing that they are separate beings from their mother.They are just affirming themselves as a separate ego.In the previous months you have done everything to contribute to the child's physical needs. Psychologically now there is a big difference in this period, a period of movement from infancy to childhood.
Sometimes your three year old toddler can throw a tantrum.It can be quite a challenge especially when it happens in a public spot like a supermarket or a restaurant. He may want something or sometimes he want to go somewhere .Very often the child will be screaming ,shouting and may even lie on the floor and scream.The best way to deal with toddlers,is not to overreact.It is a time to be very patient with the child.Just wait for a while and try to calm the child down .
The toddler whether he is 18 months old or 3 years old wants to be taken into account and consulted with decisions that concern him.He wants to start making his own choices.Parents must understand this aspect of toddlers, otherwise very often it may lead to power struggles with the child.With toddlers it is best to give 2 choices to them.Ask what he wants to do or where he wants to go.Giving them choices helps them acknowledge their individualism.
“Would you like to like to go to the zoo or would you like to go to the puppet show? ”
“Would you like to eat cookies or would you like to eat bananas?”
The toddler may just answer in one word what he wants or just point in the direction he wants to go .
You can empower them by setting limits and at the same time providing choices.You give your child choices between 2 things which are healthy to eat so you are setting limits and at the same time you are giving freedom to them by giving choices.As parents you can give them choices in everyday routine activities like personal care and meals.They want to choose the clothes they want to wear or they may want to do their hair in a certain way or wear some shoes they really like.
Giving choices to your children and understanding their individuality can definitely create less rebellious children and avoid tantrums.
Do you want to know more about your toddler?
Then watch the free video series at www.happytoddlerhappymommy.com
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